Children with ADHD really have it tough today. Not only do a lot of them struggle in school, with relationships, and at home, but they are also faced with the ghosts of our pasts. If you think about, most parents get their particular approach to raising children from one direct source: their parents.
From our parents, we tend to develop a style that considers:
- What we felt worked.
- What we felt did not work.
And just maybe we also add in our own personal flavor of parenting based on what we would have liked to experience ourselves.
At one point or another, I often hear two very common phrases in my office. The first is that many parents don't want their children to make the same mistakes they did. That's admirable, and I sort of feel that way too. But then again, the mistakes we made are the ones that brought us to where we are today.
Now it's the second comment that typically leads to the most trouble and conflict when trying to raise a child with ADHD (or any child for that matter). I bet you've heard a ton yourself, and maybe you've also said it before:
"My parents would never put up with this type of behavior from me when I was a child."
While I understand the comment, I've got to tell you that your parents would never be able to raise your child today, the way they raised you. Times are different. It's that simple. Children today are different than they were 10 years ago, and certainly different than 20+ years ago.
Now add in a child with ADHD who is being raised in a society with such incredibly overwhelming expectations. Don't get me wrong here. I'm not questioning your parents. That's not it at all. Instead, I want to point out that times have changed. Society has changed. Technology has changed, and our dreams keep getting bigger and bigger.