We all want to be good parents and learn good parenting skills. Parenting is a full time job, and sometimes it may seem like MORE than a full time job, but when it gets down to it, we have to acknowledge that as parents, we are going to make mistakes. But one of the keys to good parenting is to recognize those mistakes, accept the mistakes, and learn from the mistakes for the next time.
There are four A’s that point to traits of good parenting.
Be available for your child. Yes, these are hectic and busy times, but you should never be too busy for your child, especially when they need you. Do not only be available when they say they need you, because chances are high that they will not come right and say that. Offer yourself to them and let them know that you are available to them. Let them know that they are important to you, as they should be. Dedicate a reasonable amount of your time each day to spending it with them. Do not just give them the “leftovers” when you are dog tired from a day at work, but give them quality time. That might even be just watching their favorite TV program with them or reading them a book or going for a short walk with them. It does not necessarily mean to spend money on them, because one of the best things you can give them will not cost you a cent – your love for them, where you show it and they can feel it and know it.
The most powerful drive towards good behavior in children is in being appreciated. When a child does well at something, express your appreciation for them. When they do something nice for you, show your appreciation for that. Everyone likes to be appreciated, and children are especially sensitive to this. Appreciation also helps them make that maturing determination of what is right and what is wrong, based on how appreciated they feel. The more you appreciate their good deeds, the more their behavior will be in line with what you want and expect.
All of us wants to be loved, especially children. They are constantly searching for ways in which they can be loved by you. You are their focal point and they want to please you by their very nature. You need to be aware that love is the basis and foundation of a lasting relationship.
Everyone wants to be accepted and children are no different. You should go out of your way to show they unconditional acceptance. This provides them with a level of self-worth and helps to keep their self-esteem level high. It also gives them a sense of security in the act of acceptance. If you as their parent cannot accept them, then nobody else will either, and they realize this.
Good parenting is a skill that is learned over time, and with mistakes. Learn from the mistakes and set guidelines to be the best parent you can be.