You clicked on this article because you have some interest in bullies and perhaps you are the bully. If you are a bully and you clicked to reading this, then I applaud you for your courage. This is probably the first bit of courage that you have demonstrated in a long time.
Yes, you can stop being a bully. It is a very easy thing to do, but you must know the facts first and perhaps that will make you more comfortable about stopping your bullying behavior. Here are your bits of information first. If you think that bullies are in charge or that bullies have some sense of power, you are incorrect in your thinking and I will explain that statement. If you think that you will get away with bullying people forever, that also is incorrect thinking. If you think that bullying will improve your life–wrong again. If you think that you have a lot of friends, genuine friends, –wrong again. So those are the incorrect thinking or conclusions about bullying and about bullies. I think one of the most important things that I can tell you about bullies is that bullies always lose. They win the battle sometimes, temporarily but if you read into history, bullies always lose.
Here is how to stop bullying–step by step:
- First, know that you can have better friends, more sincere friends, more lasting and more valuable friends once you stop bullying people around. Others have friends –not through power but just through being themselves, by being friendly and cordial
- Friendship takes time. And usually any and all friends with bullies are false friends. Do you want false friends? I did not think so. So work on making friends, real friends, not just people who are afraid of you.
- Having friends who are not afraid of you is a much more rewarding experience. So work on that.
- Tell your close buddies that you are tired of being a bully and that you are retiring your hat.
- Ask your friends and even people who are not your friends, how they can help you stop bullying people. They might be shocked at the question but they also might embrace the idea because they know it is right. Yes it is right to stop bullying.
- Get some books out of the library about meditation, and about zen and about peace and see what practices you can bring into your own life.
- Start a club of your own but make it a positive, constructive club that people would like to join and be a part of. For example, begin a missions club or a crafts club or begin a club to help other people. Start a pen pal club or an exercise club. You might need some help with some of these from adults or from professionals. Just do it. You can begin today by stopping your aggressive actions and words.
Step number one –in your healing. Yes, this is your own healing. Step number one is to stop making fun of other human beings. If you can stop this one single thing in your life, you will be on the right road to success. Try it today, just stop making fun of people.
(Original article 2008; recently updated in 2016)